The Knaves Confound't by Poetry - An Ode to Elite:Odyssey

'Twas bright upon the moon of Ceoth V
And boldly did I step forth from my ship
The mission board upon my HUD did glow
And death in pistol form sat on my hip.

My VR headset sat upon my head
And lo, my vision spun with deserts vast
The devs had done it! Odyssey was done
And now my space legs took me forth at last!

"The Odyssey has come!" I cried in awe,
And sang I, gleeful, of dear Frontier's charm.
But, reader, I was soon to shiver, vexed
At bandits rough who sought to do me harm.

"Yo, wacko!" One such bandit said to me,
Her Viper gleaming distant 'cross the sands.
"You're spamming chat with all this stupid verse
And now you're gonna suffer at our hands!

This update's made the ganking game too hard
And we've been looking for some 'bears to cap.
But now you're clogging up the system chat
With all your stupid 'poem' carebear crap!

...wait, what the heck? I'm speaking verses too!
I just can't seem to stop this rhythmic pace!"
For, reader, I had trained with ancient monks
To spread my poems to the human race.

"No, please! I have a job I need to do!"
"I had a graduation speech!" "Me too!"
Like those at Babel, scattered then they did
Those bandits now daren't trouble me or you.

So, traveler, I rate Odyssey a 10
It truly makes me feel as if I'm there!
But if you ganker or a pirate be
Hear this poem, villain, and beware!
 
Verse is not catching,
You will never see me rhyme,
Wait - is this haiku?

I’ve read your post with some glee,
They’re fairly funny to see,
But it now makes me sick -
this is a Limerick,
You’ve only bloody infected me!

Right, time to get outta here
before it gets all “iambic pentameter”
 
O, charlatan! You claim to judge my art?
You clearly are a 'realist', I'm sure.
You have no love for drama, dreams or joy
And in your hands this thread would be a bore!

Within these verses it has been assumed
That all these issues with the game are fixed!
Now then, you knave! Will you propose once more
To tell me that my glorious posts be nixed?
I challenge your rhyme scheme. "sure" and "bore?" Methinks not.
 
I challenge your rhyme scheme. "sure" and "bore?" Methinks not.
Thou imbecile! Your dialect is skewed!
When my fair tongue recites these wondrous lines
The rhyme scheme is not forced, nor stretched to fit
I know not what your wretched ear divines.

If I speak the words aloud, 'sure' and 'bore' would also rhyme with 'raw' and 'Tor'. This might just be an accent thing.
 
Thou imbecile! Your dialect is skewed!
When my fair tongue recites these wondrous lines
The rhyme scheme is not forced, nor stretched to fit
I know not what your wretched ear divines.

If I speak the words aloud, 'sure' and 'bore' would also rhyme with 'raw' and 'Tor'. This might just be an accent thing.
It is similar to the pedants who claim the bard's great works didn't rhyme... But they were short of a good Brummie accent to pronounce said jewels of language in...
Speak on, sweet lips that have never told a lie...
 
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