Powerplay Faction: Zemina Torval Cycle 302: Power Contacts flee as Toaster Malfunctions Set Fire to Stations

Interstellar Toasty Appliances is the source of intense scrutiny following Thursday morning GMT after a number of fires broke out at various Powers’ headquarters. Felicia Winters was reportedly unavailable for comment after her Mk II Super Toaster caught fire whilst she attempted to toast a live trumble. The distraught creature was seeing fleeing down Ito Orbital’s main junction with blazing toaster in-tow around 7:01 AM shortly before a large explosion engulfed the station. Food shortages in Federal space since the recent collapse of Winters are so common that the furry trumbles have become the primary protein source for the starving populace. Imperial Citizens are warned against trying to toast something so cute as it may cause distress.

Ito Orbital, however, wasn’t the only station to suffer such a calamitous incident with Mahon, Hudson, Patreus and the Emperor herself all suffering major fires at their headquarters’ main stations all of which have been attributed to toaster malfunctions. A spokesman for the Emperor also denied rumours that she had shot a number of Power Contacts who had fled the in-flames Shajin Market. A source was quoted as saying, ‘rumours that the Power Contact has fled Shajin Market are completely false as is the rumour they were shot in the back whilst trying to do so. Also if they had been shot In the back whilst fleeing their posts I’m sure it will be found that they had in fact shot themselves in the back accidently with a multi-cannon on their Cutter whilst attempting a novel method of hair trimming.‘

The ringing fire alarms at Patreus & the Emperor’s headquarters did regrettably distract Imperial pilots temporarily from their operations at LTT 9472 allowing this weapon against us to go through. FUC is thus attempting to push further against us with a Weaponised Expansion at Skardee which will again be met by brave Imperial commanders on the battle lines. ‘May this time one's toast at the IHC not be overdone and the Fed menace be halted again.’ It should be noted Torval doesn’t use Interstellar Toasty Appliances’ toasters as we have Mining Lances which are more effective and can toast a variety of bready products with ease.

Our CC Reserve is 821 with our Defence Bonus holding at 50%. Thanks to everyone who assisted our defence last cycle.

Glory to Torval & the Empire!
 
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This is a Trumble for those that don't know…
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CMDR Justinian Octavius
 
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